Monday, February 16, 2009

Chelsea at the Crossroads, Part One

Chelsea at the Crossroads, Part One: The Rise and Fall of Scolari

It has not been, it must be said, a banner year for Chelsea Football Club. The campaign began brightly enough. After dumping dour and unpopular manager Avram Grant, who brought the Blues to the very brink of Champions’ League glory, Luis Felipe Scolari was introduced to lead Chelsea into the future. “Big Phil” brought an impressive CV to Stamford Bridge, having reached the very pinnacle of footballing success as manger of 2002 World Cup Champions Brazil. His mission was ambitious: to bring trophies to South London and to play attractive football doin it. The early returns were encouraging. Chelsea shot out of the gate quickly, dominating all comers and racking up a gaudy goal differential. Scolari’s brand of football looked set to revolutionize or at least revitalize the often dull Premier League.

However, things were not what they seemed. As the English fall brought a chill over the land, Chelsea’s play cooled, too. First, Xabi Alonso’s deflected shot carried Liverpool to a 1-0 victory and broke Chelsea’s 4 ½ year Stamford Bridge unbeaten run. It heralded the demise of invincible Chelsea. Scolaris’ tactics had been found out. When opponents realized that fullbacks Ashley Cole and Jose Bosingwa provided all the width to the Chelsea attack, the Blues’ Offense was rendered stagnant, narrow, and predictable. Suddenly, Chelsea’s squad seemed to lack the dynamic players necessary to break down packed defenses.

It was an issue that first arose in the summer transfer period where Chelsea was, at least in comparison to previous years, not a major player. Scolari did not make the lavish expenditures typical of Jose Mourinho’s tenure. Instead, Scolari and Chairman Peter Kenyon set about downsizing the squad by offloading what were deemed unnecessary players such as Steve Sidwell, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Claude Makelele, and Hernan Crespo. Scolari’s only major purchase was a relatively modest 7 million pound outlay on aging Portuguese playmaker Deco who together with Jose Bosingwa, who signed before Scolari began with the club, comprised the whole of Chelsea’s significant summer additions. While the club’s decision not to bring more expensive, proven talent to the squad may at time have seemed a financially prudent declaration of faith in the team’s younger members, it came to seem a grave mistake as Chelsea began to appear a team that had grown old together and was sorely missing Arjen Robben and Damien Duff, who provided width and invention to Chelsea’s league-winning squads and who were never properly replaced.

As Deco and Bosingwa, who initially got off to dazzling starts in South London, became increasingly less effective, the acquisition that Chelsea failed to make, that of Brazil and Real Madrid starlet Robinho, was thrown into harsh relief. Robinho is the exact sort of young, dynamic, creative player that the Blues squad cries out for. The transfer had at one point been all but a done deal. Chelsea, indeed, had already begun to print up the shirts. However, at the last, Manchester City, newly backed by wealthy Abu Dhabi sheik Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan, swooped in and made an offer that Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich declined to match. It was a clear indication of a new role for Chelsea. No longer were they the fantastically wealthy new boys chasing championships at any cost. Chelsea had become more sober, responsible, and determined to live nearer their considerable means. Yet they remain haunted by their past. Previous foolish expenditures, a tendency to acquire players who had already passed their primes, and the failure to build an effective and productive youth system has left Chelsea with a squad that, compared to the other “Big Four” clubs, looks old and thin.

Scolari plunged forward continuing to play his favored 4-5-1 system, claiming that his squad left him little choice. Even when Ivorian striker Didier Drogba returned to full fitness, he refused to pair he and his French counterpart, Nicolas Anelka, maintaining that the lack of defensively able wingers and a left-sided alternative to oft-injured winger Florent Malouda prohibited such arrangements. While Scolari doggedly persevered with his system, losses and costly draws began to pile up. Burnley saw the Blues out of the Carling Cup. Arsenal humbled Chelsea in league play at the Bridge. Cluj, Bordeaux, and Roma stymied them, allowing no wins on Chelsea’s Champions League travels. While management publicly maintained Scolari’s job was safe at least until season’s end, fan dissatisfaction began to grow and many started to question whether the Brazilian had the skills for club management in the Premier League.

So....My Weekend Sucked...

Since I'm not getting anything productive done like homework or applying for interships, I figured I might as well write some.

Now, if you'll recall (or refer to) my last entry, I was set to ask out this cute girl in my English class. Well, I did it Wednesday. The results? Not great.

I went into class with a greater eye on her body language and tried to figure out whether she might be interested in me. In doing so, I realized that she was betraying no signs of interest. She wasn't looking at me a lot or flipping her hair or doing any of those things typically associated with flirty behavior. On the other hand, she certainly wasn't closing herself off and once again things were very friendly between us. We chatted a bit before class and even whispered back and forth a bit during class. Having realized that she probably wasn't actively interested in me, I nonetheless decided to still ask her out. Maybe she hadn't been thinking of it herself but there was still the chance, I thought, that she might be willing to go on a date simply based on our friendship.

After class, walking out of Cobb, I asked her whether or not she might like to grab lunch on Friday or Saturday. At first, she didn't quite understand and explained that she was very busy this weekend but then I asked her again what she thought of the idea itself. "You mean like a date?" she said. I confirmed that's what I meant. She clearly was blind-sided and wasn't feeling it. To her credit, she was very nice about it and handled it remarkably well. First, she hesitatingly said, "I'm not sure if I want to date..." and then when I remarked that it was on the table and that there was no pressure she said "I'll think about it...".

Though the note she left off on gave me a slight amount of hope, I know that in reality there isn't much of a chance of things coming good for me. The tone with which she spoke indicated pretty clearly that she wasn't interested and was trying to make the best of an awkward situation. I never wanted to be the dorky guy who misinterprets girls' friendship and forces them to politely reject him, but it seems that is who I've become. Really, I'm left with no good options. If I try to remain patient and hope that a relationship naturally comes to me, I get disappointed when that fails to happen. If I try to be proactive and aggressive and ask girls I like out, I just get disappointed and depressed when they reject me. I don't know what it is about me, but I donn't seem to attract the interest of girls at all. I know that I'm too shy and that I'm not always personable, but I don't think I'm so overwhelmingly misanthropic that the occasional girl might not take an interest in me. I think the only girl that has ever been remotely interested in me is Laura and given the way I was unceremoniously and unexpectedly dumped by her it's hard to say how much she ever really fancied me.

I get a lot of advice from people who tell me to not worry about it and to enjoy my youth without being proccupied with girls, but honestly I'd like to know what it feels like to be in love and loved in return before I'm too old. Sure, I'm only 21 but most guys have at least had their first kiss by 21. Me? No. Moreover, I've been borderline depressed off-and-on at least since the beginning of college maybe even since the beginning of high school. The time I felt happiest? The three weeks that Laura and I were somewhat of an item. My self-confidence was better, I was happier, and I had a reason to get up in the morning. Now, life seems somewhat meaningless and empty. I don't have many friends in Tufts yet and many days I go all day without talking to anyone. It's a pretty damn lonely way to live.

I'm actually starting to get pretty worried about myself. I think about death far too frequently. I never seriously consider doing anything rash and I've never self-harmed, but I think about it enough to scare myself. What terrifies me is that eventually I'm going to graduate and I'll be even more alone than I am now. I guess I'm just a weak person. I need people around me to support me and prop me up. Now, there are at least still friends on campus and RAs and RHs that are pretty much obligated to talk to me if I need help. But when I'm out on my own it's going to be even lonelier and there will be even less support. There are thousands of smart girls on campus. If I can't strike up a half-decent relationship under these circumstances, what chances am I going to stand in the "real world?"

This is what I spent my Valentine's Day weekend thinking about. I was hoping that this girl would say yes and it might be the best Valentine's Day that I've ever had. Instead, she said no and it was the worst. Just as I know why Laura dumped me, I know why she said no. In fact, I went in fully realizing that there was a large chance she would say no. Still, the rejection brought all the old feelings of inferiority that I had carefully supressed after Laura rushing right back. It hit me harder than I expected it would and than it had any right to. This girl did nothing wrong, of course. If anyone did wrong, it was me in asking her out when she wasn't betraying any signs of interest, but that knowledge hasn't stopped my pride from being gravely wounded. It hasn't stopped me from being useless ever since and in a total emotional funk.

I had that class again today, but she was sick and wasn't there. It appears I'll have to wait until Wednesday or maybe Friday to see her again. I hope by then she'll have thought about it and I can settle this somewhat in my mind. There is a (maybe) 1% chance that she'll have thought about it and deemed it a good idea, but I know that in all probability it will come down with the 99% and she'll confirm that it's not going to happen. I just hope that things aren't awkward and it won't ruin whatever small friendship we had cultivated prior to me asking her out. I can't bear to lose another girl full stop like I did Laura. I just hope that things come around for me eventually and I can finally achieve some sort of contentment because I don't know how long I can go on like this feeling hopeless, lonely, and lost.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Time for the Next Phase

After the mess that was and is what happened between me and Laura, I've got that nervous feeling back in my stomach. It seems to me that I must initiate the next phase soon.

I've been sitting next to this really cute girl in my English class and I've developed a pretty healthy crush on her. She's really smart and insightful but not in a pretentious and typically U of C way and she's really fun to chat with. Normally, I don't socialize too much with people in my classes but she was super friendly and started chatting with me like we were old friends. Friday we walked from Cobb to Bartlett together after class continuing a conversation that we were having at the end. It felt really good to talk with a girl in that way again. It's just not quite the same talking to female friends as it is talking to a girl you fancy.

It's a dangerous situation because she seems like a super friendly girl and I don't want to mistake her friendliness for interest in me. In fact, I'm reasonably sure she has none. But at the same time, from the looks of her facebook she doesn't have a boyfriend either. I figure it can't hurt to ask her out. I just have to work up the courage to do it and figure what the best way is. If she rejects me out of hand, at least I tried. It might make class awkward if she's not interested, but that's a chance I have to take, I think.

Hopefully, this isn't just a set up for more heartbreak, but I'm really optimistic for the first time in a while. The odds may not be good but at least it gives me some hope and hope is an important thing, indeed. I really hunger for female contact and companionship and when I see such a cool girl 3 times a week, it's hard not to be excited about the prospects.

We shall see. It's time for the next phase to begin.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Song of the Day -- S Club 7 "Bring It All Back"

I haven't wrote anything on here in ages. That's mainly because I've scarcely had a chance to breathe lately. Between school, the sim league, trying to fix my computer, and trying to maintain some semblance of a social life it's been a full plate. I've got tons of decent writing ideas kicking around but it's hard to find time to sit down and write just for my own pleasure.

That said, I have a bit of time now before class so I thought I'd throw up a Song of the Day. Today's choice is "Bring It All Back" by S Club 7. S Club 7 was a seven person pop group consisting of Tina Barrett, Paul Cattermole, Jon Lee, Bradley McIntosh, Jo O'Meara, Hannah Spearitt, and Rachel Steven. It was created by Simon Fuller who also managed the Spice Girls and created "Pop Idol" and it's subsequent worldwide spin-offs, including "American Idol". Completely a formula pop group, S Club was Fuller's next idea after leaving the Spice Girls.

S Club 7 was propelled to success by their BBC children's sitcom portraying their ongoing adventures around the world. The theme song to the original series, set in Miami, was "Bring It All Back". Upon it's release, it shot to #1 in the UK singles chart.

I hadn't really heard much S Club until I was surfing youtube the other day and I hit upon this song. Wow! It's so saccharine that you almost want to fall over holding your stomach, but beyond the schmaltzy sweetness it's an amazing bubblegum pop song that is infectious. Plus, it helps out the kiddies by telling them to follow their dreams. S Club 7: Doing a service to the world by preventing kids from becoming emo. Of course, all the kids who listened to S Club in that era probably now hate pop and will only listen to Fleet Foxes and Vampire Weekend or whatever the vogue band is now, but at least they aren't hanging out at Hot Topic or slitting their wrists! Thanks S Club!

Have a look and listen:

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Small Dilemma

After buying a new Chicago card (because the old one won't read anymore) and purchasing a ticket for the Ting Tings concert, I'm wondering whether or not $50 is too much for a Morrissey ticket.

On one hand, he's a honest to goodness music legend. On the other, is he really 2.5 x better than the Ting Tings? His prices are that much higher. I figure I'll probably splurge on them eventually because of how much his music means to me but it seems steep. That said, the memories will probably be worth it.

EDIT: Dilemma solved. I went ahead and ordered the ticket. It turned out to be closer to $60 thanks to some BS "convenience" charges. I just figured "How many opportunities am I really going to have to see Morrissey?" Plus, I've heard that he's brilliant live.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

This Post Is A Reminder

...that I need to check when Ting Ting tickets go on sale. They're playing the Metro in Chicago on April 5. I need to see them. This post is a reminder so that I don't forget about the show!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Introducing...Defend Moscow

I didn't mean for this to turn into a music-only blog. I have a mind to write about the first few weeks back at UChicago as well as a bit about Chelsea and possibly the Buffalo Bills Simulation Football League. However, for now it's another brief music post.

A few days ago, I was reading Popjustice's Twitter and they were doing another thrilling installment of the "in the post" feature. Basically, since Popjustice is a popular and influential music blog, they get sent all kinds of stuff for free by artists who are hoping for some publicity. "In the post" is a series of tweets (aka Twitter posts) that simply details what they received in that day's mail. In that installment of "in the post" they received a CD from Defend Moscow and mentioned that they were quite good, so I took a peak at their Myspace.

First, please note the amazing logo. Secondly, the music itself is really good. The single is "Manifesto," which is about Leon Trotsky, if I remember correctly. It's a nice solid uptempo number. In fact, everything that Defend Moscow do is uptempo, and they tend to all share the common theme of wistfully recalling what might have been. It's happy music about being sad, not to put too fine a point on it. Sample "Manifesto" lyric:

Everything was right
Now everything is wrong
And I will never hope for more.

Next up is "Die Tonight," which doesn't sound as if it will be very jubilant lyrically. And it isn't. Sample "Die Tonight" lyric:

We know we're going to die tonight
And the darkness overrides the light
Well we know were going to die
Say goodbye
Don't even try
Because no one's getting out alive

Then we have "You Just Walked Away." It's a song about loving and needing someone and then seeing them walk away as if it meant nothing. Given recent circumstances, I find this a poignant bit of pop. Chorus of "You Just Walked Away":

And you just walked away
And left me on my own again
You just walked away
And left me here with this pain

The last song on their Myspace is "Sign of Life". Not surprisingly, it's a song about looking for meaning for life. First verse of "Sign of Life":

All I needed was a little emotion
All I needed was a sign of live
All I wanted was an indication
That it's not real

So there you have it. Defend Moscow makes mid/uptempo electropop that sounds very polished and cool and deals with themes of heartbreak and regret. They're like the Ting Tings chilled out, intellectual sibling. Here's the band's bio in case you want to know more (this is stolen from their facebook, so of course it's all fluff):

Managed by the mastermind behind The Wombats, Defend Moscow are destined for great things.

Comprised of musicians from London, Bergen and Paris, the quintet are armed with a manifesto to spread their brand of indie-electro across the globe.

Formed via a chance meeting between childhood friends Jon Beck (vocals) and Dave Fawbert (guitar/synths/programming), and Norwegian siren Sofie Storaas (vocals) in Bergen, Norway a year ago, they bonded over a shared love of classic and contemporary electro, pop and indie, and Russian vodka.

Completed by drummer Adam Pickering and bassist Rick Elmos, they immediately set to work writing tracks recalling the finest moments of New Order, Human League, Pet Shop Boys and contemporaries such as New Young Pony Club and Chromeo.

An extensive touring schedule is planned for the new year, along with their debut single, Manifesto – a dancefloor-destroying statement of intent with lyrics referencing the darkest moments of the cold war to be released in January, Defend Moscow are all set to lead an electro-pop revolution.

Finally, here's a clip of them playing "You Just Walked" away supporting Team Waterpolo at 93 Feet East on Brick Lane in London from October 28, 2008: